What does the survey say...bribery works

Thanks to the 8 of you who took the survey! Here's what the results say about whether or not bribery works.

Only 1 of you said you have never made a deal with or bribed your child, grandchild, etc. to get him/her to do what you wanted him/her to do.

In what situations do you use bribery?
"To finish what is on her plate, to get out of the bath, to xyz we'll say she can then have an ice lolly/lollipop/tootsie roll. Most often it's: once you've finished your food we can go do xyz."

"In situations where a child needs to complete a less desirable task & there is no apparent natural consequence, or the natural consequence is unsafe and/or impractical for the moment. I use "bribes" that involve increased time and pleasurable activities or events, rather than physical rewards."

"Eating dinner to get dessert - which was how I was raised."

"Not really any, only when there is no time to wait out the tantrum."

"Store behavior."

"Primarily when I wanted my child to do something that s/he really wasn't interested in doing."

"Eating, pottying, going, leaving, you name it!"

"Eating, behaving in a certain situation or location."

This was a multiple response question, looking for the kinds of things you use as bribes. In order of their popularity, they are:
Food
Going to the park or other enjoyable place
Additional time with Mom, Dad, Grandma, Grandpa, etc
Treats reseved for special situations
A special something purchased at the store we're trying to get out of
A story
Getting to watch a favorite TV show, DVD, etc.
Getting to do things himself

How much are you finding yourself using this technique?
50% said infrequently, less than once a week
37.5% said frequently, multiple times a week
12.5% said only in special circumstances

Have you ever offered this advice to another person?
75% said no
12.5% said to a friend
12.5% said to a relative

50% of you answered this survey as a mother
25% as a relative of a child
25% as someone who cares about children.

What's a parent to do? Some well-regarded resources on this topic include: Product How to Behave So Your Children Will, Too and How to Behave So Your Preschooler Will, Too! by Sal Severe; Discipline Without Distress: 135 tools for raising caring, responsible children without time-out, spanking, punishment or bribery by Judy Arnall; Kids, Parents, and Power Struggles: Winning for a Lifetime by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka
It seems to me that when I used bribery or dealing with my kids, the focus was on me. It was on what I wanted--or needed-- to have happen. The signals I was reading were mine. "Just five more minutes talking to Grandma and then we can go to the park." "Leave your sister alone and we'll go to the Dairy Queen tonight." You get the picture. A penultimate parenting moment for me was reading the book, How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish. I still describe this book as my parenting bible. One of the key concepts in the book is helping children (and, I'll add, parents) differentiate between needs and wants. In today's societal turn toward overindulging children, this is, in my opinion, critical. Your child may want to whack their sibling because they're angry, tired, frustrated, etc. but they don't really need to. It's up to the parent/caregiver to read the child's signals and help them figure out what they need. It's also the adult responsibility to redirect the child. As the Rolling Stones told us, you can't always get what you want but if you try sometimes, you get what you need.