Monday, October 12, 2009
Looking for some Pearls--from you!
So far this blog has looked at a variety of parenting issues. We think it's time to hear from you about two important topics. 1. What Pearls of Wisdom do you have that you'd like to share with other parents? 2. What issues would you like to see us tackle in upcoming blogs? Take the survey now!
Friday, October 9, 2009
What does the survey say: Arrest the Parents
Thanks to the 7 of you who took the survey!
Here's what you had to say...
You were almost evenly split about whether parents should be held responsible for underage drinking in their home.
57% of you said: Yes
43% of you said: No.
"My views are different for legal and social responsibility. Yes to social, no to legal responsibility."
"Please do not supply alcohol to minors."
86% of you said you do not agree with supplying alcohol in the home to limit potential danger to teenagers.
14% of you said you agree with this.
"Yes, but in relatively limited circumstances."
"No alcohol to minors."
86% of you said it is not okay for parents who don't supply the alcohol to subtly condone the behavior by "looking the other way?"
14% of you said it is.
"But they should be clear that's what they are doing."
"No it's the law and your children should not drink with your permission."
"But this is really, really, REALLY hard to do when you don't allow consumption in your home and you know your kids are allowed to drink in their friends' homes."
These are the consequences you say teenagers should face for underage consumption:
"Under current legal situation, they have to deal with consequences. In an ideal legal world, this would not be a legal matter. Families should deal with inappropriate drinking as the circumstances indicate."
"Driver's license or permit revoked and not be able to drive until a specific time in the future." "I don't know...but it shouldn't be pleasant."
"Discussion, limiting of privileges but NOT revoking extracurricular such as sports. We need them to be more occupied, not less."
"Counseling."
"Parents should have deep consequences for this behavior."
"Honestly I think tying alcohol consumption into participation in school activities is stupid. If they break the law, they should receive those consequences."
Have you ever supplied alcohol to your underage teens?
86% said absolutely not.
14% said yes on special occasions.
"I haven't had to make this decision yet but have provided it for underage college students (cousins, teammates, etc.)."
"No alcohol for teens."
If your children are yet teens, how do you think you will handle this issue?
80% said you will not allow drinking in your home.
20% of you wonder if you and your spouse will agree on this issue.
How do you view other parents who allow teenagers to consume alcohol in their homes? What do you say to parents whose views differ from your own?
"Depends entirely on circumstances. Unsupervised binges - no. Wine with dinner, OK."
"In your home, you need to be aware (to the extent possible) about what is happening in your house. If a parent lets teens drink, I would like to know so I can make a decision regarding my position and not have my child go to their house."
"If you allow your kids to drink underage you are saying it is okay to break the law... I think more people should get inside the box..."
"I worry that the "friend" factor comes into play more than the responsibility of making tough decisions or enforcing unpopular limits."
"They are probably insecure and want to be their child's "friend" rather than parent."
"If it is illegal, immoral, unhealthy, or too risky it should not be done. One of my friends had that as a motto in their home."
"In this litigious society, you are playing with fire by allowing underage consumption."
Some additional resources you might want to check out:
Parenting Teens With Love And Logic (Updated and Expanded Edition) by Foster Cline and Jim Fay; Positive Discipline for Teenagers by Jane Nelsen Ed.D. and Lynn Lott; Getting to Calm: Cool-Headed Strategies for Parenting Tweens and Teens by Laura S Kastner Ph.D. and Jennifer Wyatt; A Parent's Guide to Building Resilience in Children and Teens: Giving Your Child Roots and Wings (American Academy of Pediatrics) by Kenneth R. Ginsburg
Here's what you had to say...
You were almost evenly split about whether parents should be held responsible for underage drinking in their home.
57% of you said: Yes
43% of you said: No.
"My views are different for legal and social responsibility. Yes to social, no to legal responsibility."
"Please do not supply alcohol to minors."
86% of you said you do not agree with supplying alcohol in the home to limit potential danger to teenagers.
14% of you said you agree with this.
"Yes, but in relatively limited circumstances."
"No alcohol to minors."
86% of you said it is not okay for parents who don't supply the alcohol to subtly condone the behavior by "looking the other way?"
14% of you said it is.
"But they should be clear that's what they are doing."
"No it's the law and your children should not drink with your permission."
"But this is really, really, REALLY hard to do when you don't allow consumption in your home and you know your kids are allowed to drink in their friends' homes."
These are the consequences you say teenagers should face for underage consumption:
"Under current legal situation, they have to deal with consequences. In an ideal legal world, this would not be a legal matter. Families should deal with inappropriate drinking as the circumstances indicate."
"Driver's license or permit revoked and not be able to drive until a specific time in the future." "I don't know...but it shouldn't be pleasant."
"Discussion, limiting of privileges but NOT revoking extracurricular such as sports. We need them to be more occupied, not less."
"Counseling."
"Parents should have deep consequences for this behavior."
"Honestly I think tying alcohol consumption into participation in school activities is stupid. If they break the law, they should receive those consequences."
Have you ever supplied alcohol to your underage teens?
86% said absolutely not.
14% said yes on special occasions.
"I haven't had to make this decision yet but have provided it for underage college students (cousins, teammates, etc.)."
"No alcohol for teens."
If your children are yet teens, how do you think you will handle this issue?
80% said you will not allow drinking in your home.
20% of you wonder if you and your spouse will agree on this issue.
How do you view other parents who allow teenagers to consume alcohol in their homes? What do you say to parents whose views differ from your own?
"Depends entirely on circumstances. Unsupervised binges - no. Wine with dinner, OK."
"In your home, you need to be aware (to the extent possible) about what is happening in your house. If a parent lets teens drink, I would like to know so I can make a decision regarding my position and not have my child go to their house."
"If you allow your kids to drink underage you are saying it is okay to break the law... I think more people should get inside the box..."
"I worry that the "friend" factor comes into play more than the responsibility of making tough decisions or enforcing unpopular limits."
"They are probably insecure and want to be their child's "friend" rather than parent."
"If it is illegal, immoral, unhealthy, or too risky it should not be done. One of my friends had that as a motto in their home."
"In this litigious society, you are playing with fire by allowing underage consumption."
Some additional resources you might want to check out:
Parenting Teens With Love And Logic (Updated and Expanded Edition) by Foster Cline and Jim Fay; Positive Discipline for Teenagers by Jane Nelsen Ed.D. and Lynn Lott; Getting to Calm: Cool-Headed Strategies for Parenting Tweens and Teens by Laura S Kastner Ph.D. and Jennifer Wyatt; A Parent's Guide to Building Resilience in Children and Teens: Giving Your Child Roots and Wings (American Academy of Pediatrics) by Kenneth R. Ginsburg
Thursday, October 1, 2009
"Arrest the Parents" Survey
Please take the "Arrest the Parents" survey by Sunday, October 4. Thanks!
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